Okay, since these fansub review thingies seem to be popular among the kids nowadays and my mom says I’m cool, I decided to jump in the fray. But instead of covering current fagsubs, I decided to dabble in the fagsubs from the past, just to prove how far we anime-loving neckbeards have come along. Now, when you think of ancient fagsubs you used to get off of irc or sumshit, you basically think of this screenshot:
So obviously, I wanted to see what goes into a failsub like that, so I went hunting and found the actual AnimeJunkies fansub of that GitS episode (or at least that’s what the CRC tells me) and prepared this little review. You may also recognize the format of this review since I’m too much of a lazy negro to think up my own format.
Release format: Divx 4 in AVI container (640×352), 138 MB
Weeb Power Level: None (sis for ?onee-san?, ?Mr.? for ?-san?)
English style: FOBs attempting American English
Encodan details: http://pastebin.com/tdd2yweh
Speed: According to Wiki, this episode first aired November 2002, and according to anidb, these chuckleheads released it three months later (anidb also says the episode was released on January 1, 2003).
Miscellaneous: Obviously used shareraw winnyraw some DVR footage they managed to smuggle in on a boat.
Wow, they take fansubban srsly, they even TLed the opening credits. And those clever little dickens superimposed their subs over the Japanese names so nobody has to check their translations – nice. I remember I had to TL credits one time. By the time it was over, I didn?t know whether I wanted to gouge my own eyes out, or the project leader?s. So props.
There?s the TL whose fail has become fagsubbing legend. Also, too, no OP kara since it was sung in three languages by some Russian ? none of it Japanese.
Logo. I like how all the colors and font totally fits. Plus if it weren?t for AnimeJunkies and their fail positioning, I wouldn?t know this show was called ?Stand Alone Complex: Ghost in the Shell?
What does that say? ?Rimed bw Kloococks?? Who the fuck thought writing the fagsub credits in Greek was the best fucking idea since sliced cunt?
Editor of this steaming pile.
His “typesetting”. There?s a reason by the word ?Killshok? is now worse than an ethnic slur, because sometimes people can eventually own slurs.
Where you can tell the cockwhisperers at AJ (also worse than a slur) to go drown themselves in their own enema juices and spare us any more of their fail.
Comma splice in the second line of the sub? Oh, this is gonna be an adventure. Also nice going on the Default Aegisub font styling.
konna jikan ni/at a time like this. I?ll leave this to Otaking to explain how vegetative-state retarded this is.
?You never come around these days even when I invite you.?
Yeah, try ?All I?m hearing is good news.? You know, since that nurse called Motoko for some emergency, and up till now she?s been telling her about how that girl is able to pull through thanks to a heart transplant.
Nope.avi. They are talking about a boy who had his body parts replaced with robotic organs, but his normal heart can?t support that procedure so they replaced it with an artificial heart.
-_-# -_-# -_-#
?Habitual lying, embarrassment, coordinator?s mistakes, mixed up memories due to the surgery…?
Dragonnumbers, are you Killshok in disguise?
Continued from previous line: ?or other similar residual effects??
And this is where I stopped trying to TLC every line. How the fuck they heard ?jiko” as ?cheko? (only romanji because fucking WordPress can’t fucking encode moonroons for some fucking reason) is anybody?s guess. And the editor and QCs (no, I’m kidding about the last part) read this and thought this made any goddamn sense?! Also their engrish has too much blur. I don?t even have enough cocksucking hours in the day to do this shit. It was only the first four fucking minutes.
See that woman in the screen? That?s Motoko. That is the nurse speaking to her. In English, we have these things called ?second-person pronouns?. Lrn 2 use it. Plus line ends too soon.
Timestamp of famous line @ 4:52. Of course the original Japanese line is is “sakkon, waga kuni de kaigai mafia ga karanda shuudan rachi jiken ga hinpatsu shiteiru koto wa shitteiru na?” Apparently the translator came onto an old Envirosphere forum and admitted that he mistook rachi (kidnappings) with raji (naked child, I guess). It can?t be helped, especially when you?re translating from the original Korean.
Fail. I?m sure they had spacebars on their computer machines back in Aught ?03.
They said a whole lot more in the original Japanese than what the line here conveys. They basically said ?fuck it? and did some serious dodging.
More A-plus TSing work. Also, too, he said ?nouhinsho? (statement of delivery of goods), something these wastes of semen would know if they even bothered to at least READ and TYPESET the fucking title of this here clipboard.
This line actually bled into three ? count ?em THREE ? scenes.
Missing a word there, you fucking FOBs.
Read that line? Okay, moving on…
?This? is what he is referring to.
This line is, shit what?s that word again… oh yes, ?bemusing?, because the guy used the same exact same terms in the original Japanese that the TL fucked up in that famous screenshot. Specifically he said “moshikashite shuudan rachi wo okoshiteru to iu kaigai mafia janai no ka?” but this time they didn?t bother to add in the ?mass kidnapping/mass naked children? part and as a result got a barely passable line, depending on how liberal a translation you?re willing to put up with.
You guys likey the Engrish? Then how about the Engrish that tries to be, uh, hip with the jive talk?
What? I liked how they handled “sou konakucchaa”. Sue me.
Sadly, this is the type of release where one is forced to look past their use of ?alright? out of pity if the rest of the line sounds so laughingly unnatural.
?okkanee? (scary) not ?okane? (money). But for some reason… this mistranslation kind of works.
I know at this point pointing these out is about as pointless (See what I did there?) as taking Stevie Wonder to a strip joint, but this is obviously a context mistake. She was talking about HER selling the organs of THE DUDE she?s talking to.
Yes, kids, never neogtiate with pigs or terrer-ists.
Inneresting way of saying “isseki nichou” (killing two birds, one stone).
Ending it with some more grammerizing because you guys deserve it.
No ED for ?Lithium Flower? because all the lyrics are in Engrish. Yes, apparently a couple of white guys wrote and performed this song, but it?s still incomprehensible Engrish. Which is why I always get pissed off whenever other people grade OP/ED translations on their “smoothness and comprehensibility”. Yeah, listen to some of the American chart toppers and tell me if any of those lyrics make any goddamn sense if you think about them. Same thing goes for a lot of Japanese music. Sometimes you just have to “take their word for it”.
Also, it seems AJ (hereby known as ?absolute junk?) didn?t bother to TL the ending credits. I was willing to give them credit (so to speak) for the credit TL, but here they really prove that they do things half-assed.
Watchability: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! No seriously, if you watch this release, you will have no goddamn clue what’s going on and why they were chasing after those bad guys.
Visual grade: Shit
Script grade: Dogshit
Overall grade: [Insert appropriate German compound word for “giant radioactive turd”]
So we all know about Hadena Subs. Now imagine Hadena being a dominant subgroup and one of the few places you can get your major animu from. There were barely any torrents, you either got it off Kazaa or irc, and even raws are hard if not impossible to come by, so you have this to rely on. Actually, according once again to anidb two other groups released before AbsoluteJunk, so they don’t even have a claim on either speed OR quality. If even Hadena can give you some advanced typesetting, prettier fonts, and even some karaoke, then you know you are living in the golden age of fagsubbing.